I'm just talking about for me, but when Jerud and I talked about having a baby, we talked about all the logical stuff: child care, insurance, diapers, car seat, etc. Then, when we got pregnant, we talked about the first time parent stuff...nursing, bottle feeding, bath time. You get the drill. What we didn't talk about was how it was going to change our relationship and our dynamic. For me, as soon as I held Lucy, my life changed. I was no longer the top of my priority list, she was. My relationship with Jerud wasn't even the top of my list, she was. It was like in that split second, everything I used to care about became obsolete.
It's been a real struggle for Jerud and my relationship. I don't consider myself naive. I knew I wouldn't get sleep and I knew that my life was going to change, but I didn't realize how much it would change. Do I want to go on a date? Not really. I'm away form her all day while I'm at work and the last thing on my mind is getting a babysitter to go out to dinner. When I go home, I just want to hang out with her, and play tea party. Before you gasp and say that I'm being selfish. Keep in mind that yes, we DO things that don't involve her. I do some travel for work and we have events that we go to that aren't "kid friendly."
My recommendation? Talk, talk, talk. Lame? Maybe, but at least you'll know you're on the same page and be better prepared for all the fantastic, exciting, moments that are about to come your way.
Just know, it's all worth it.